Reflections on Jordan - Ellyn Butler

Oberlin flute major Ellyn Butler reflected upon the differences between what she expected to find in Jordan and the reality that actually confronted her.

As I am writing this, I am in sitting in a comfortable hanging-chair in the basement of an Israeli friend’s house. The wealth of his community is clear from the towering buildings called homes and the gated feeling of the area. Long before I ever went to Jordan, I knew that this was the sort of community that my friend lived in. We met over the summer at a festival in Italy, where we quickly became close friends, swapping stories of the similarities and differences between our respective cultures. At this time, I knew that I would be participating in Oberlin’s Winter Term trip to Jordan. Having never visited the region, in my mental image of the Middle East, as is the case for many Americans, I imagined there to be much death and destruction. I had not given much thought to the variety of lives lived everyday, and I didn’t consider the nuances of religion and education. Now, sitting here in this comfortable chair, it has dawned on me how similar the day-to-day lives are of many people, despite important cultural and religious divides.

Street view in Amman

We all wake up in the morning and have to decide what to put on. Of course, considerations that go into what we decide to wear vary by culture. When I am in Oberlin, often the only thing I consciously think about in the morning is what will be easiest for me to run in, given that I am often running late to my first class. That is not to say, though, that my decisions are not influenced by my culture’s norms. For example, I would never choose to wear something totally outrageous that would make me stick out. When I was in Jordan, I was forced to think about what would make me stick out in a different cultural context. As a woman, it was only appropriate for me to wear long-sleeved shirts with a conservative neckline and long pants. I couldn’t help but feel stifled, given that I normally show a lot more skin, but it was helpful to remind myself that all cultures have strong expectations for dress. Everyone takes into consideration culture norms when deciding how to present themselves.

The author performs with the classical trio from Oberlin at Zata'ari camp, north of Amman

We all have to go to work, in order to take care of our families or to put food on the table. Back in the US, work differs a lot between the adults in my life. I know plenty of men and women who are academics, doctors, librarians and blue-collar workers. In Jordan, I was immediately struck by how few women I saw on a daily basis in the work force. Every time we went to a restaurant, the entirety of the wait staff was men. Every time we got a cab, our driver was male. Every time we went to the grocery store, the cashier was male. I almost began to wonder if there were just fewer women in Jordan. But when we left the hub of daily life and moved into the spaces of the elite private schools, it almost felt as if we had returned home. Girls and boys participated in sports equally. Girls and boys were responsible for showing us around. Girls and boys both aspired towards a career in science. Interacting with these students, I saw my high school self. I saw exhaustion, feelings of self-doubt, and an obsession with grades. At least amongst the men of the average Jordanian community, I saw love, compassion and a joy for life. The few women I saw with each other on the streets of Amman demonstrated similar characteristics. It begged the question of whether or not what I view as a “good” elite education is ultimately worthwhile. Regardless of professions or aspirations, Jordanians and people from the US must contribute to the functioning of society through some form of work.

The author working with a qanoun player at International Academy Amman

We all value some kind of community we belong to, and as a result, we feel protective of it. A high school junior that I met at dinner one night said that one of her teachers had told her that people in the US were not tolerant of those who were not Christian. I immediately felt confused, and even a little defensive. There I was, in a region that is often portrayed as being religiously intolerant, being told that my home had just that problem. In all honesty, many parts, if not all of the US, are overtly or covertly unaccepting of religious minorities. But given that my personal upbringing had been without religion and that I had been surrounded by friends of many different religions growing up, I couldn’t help but feel that this was an exaggeration. In that moment, it dawned on me that I had been making a gross over-exaggeration of her culture, and assumed it was religiously intolerant, but from day one our tour guide made a point to mention that Christians and Muslims lived side by side in peace in Jordan, something that cannot be said of all areas within the US. Not all feelings of protectiveness for one’s culture come in the form of defense, though. During our visit to the Zata’ari refugee camp, it became clear that, despite all of their hardships, residents were intent on maintaining important aspects of their culture. They made it a priority to create spaces where both boys and girls could learn and play. Through soccer fields, libraries, and music classes, all children had access to experiences that emphasized their humanity. Ultimately, everyone wants to maintain the reality and the image of the culture they love and respect.

Art in a Questscope caravan at Zata'ari camp

As I am finishing this post, I am sitting in a hotel room back in the US. Reflecting on my time in Jordan, I couldn’t be more pleased with my experience. I was able to mentally bridge the gap between cultures I had previously viewed as being incontrovertibly different. Even better, I was able to use something that I hold near and dear to my heart, music, to help bridge the experienced gap between people. No matter what we do when we wake up in the morning, how we spend our days, or what we ultimately value, nearly all of us are able to appreciate the hard work that goes into putting on a good performance.